This Relationship Advice Will Change Your Life
Prior to meeting my husband, I was in an on-and-off year relationship for six years. At the time, I didn’t know how common this was because I felt like I was the “only one” going through this turbulent time.
I have nothing but respect for my ex, and yet, this toxic relationship was one of the greatest gifts I’ve ever received.
In fact... I am so grateful for it now that I cannot imagine my life now, without this piece of advice I’m going to share.
But first, I want to tell you a bit of the back story.
When I met my ex, I was living in London in 2014 and I remember sitting on my bed one night, telling the universe “I want to meet a man that treats me like a princess.” I didn’t yet know that the universe is always listening to what we are thinking, saying, and energetically putting out in the form of desires.
You might be thinking to yourself “I don’t share negative things to the world. I would never call in someone who doesn’t treat me right.” Alas, that’s the same sort of thinking I had.
What I didn’t know back in 2014 was that I was not being specific enough. I had merely stated on simple piece of the equation of the partner I was looking for. Low and behold, I met a man who did in fact treat me like a princess. At times.
And the other times? Let’s just say that I cannot, or rather, choose not to repeat things because I have respect for this person and don’t want to put him under and harm, energetically or with my words.
Now, you might be wondering what this story has to do with the advice I’m about to give you. In fact, I’m not just going to give you one piece, but three that stack on top of one another to create more power. Because if I left you with only one of the three, it simply wouldn’t be as powerful.
When I fully ended the relationship during the pandemic in early 2020 (yes, the final-final time out of that six year on-and-off pattern), I moved to Miami where I got my own place and went into a whole other level of healing. And this is where I began to understand the importance of what I’m about to tell you.
Number One: your intimate relationship is a reflection of how you treat yourself.
Read that one again.
It’s easy to sit there and blame others in our life for being rude, narcistic, gaslighting, or toxic. Trust me – I was this person. I told my friends and anyone who would listen how crazy my ex was, and that it was such a toxic on that I couldn’t understand why I kept going back.
Here’s where the fun part of the self-work comes in. Because our most intimate relationship is a mirror, the very thing we say about the other person tends to be the reflection of how YOU treat yourself.
Think about it. How kindly do you speak to yourself? When you “mess up” with food, or “fall of the wagon” with your healthy lifestyle, maybe gaining a few pounds, are you kind and loving to yourself? My guess is not. Because we tend to beat ourselves up with that incredibly toxic self-talk.
As Taylor Swift says, “it’s me. I’m the problem.” Exactly. I was attracting a toxic relationship because that was the relationship I had with myself.
Number Two: you must learn to love yourself before you can expect someone else to.
Falling in love is easy. Staying in love when the hormones and pheromones wear off, and you get to know each other’s true sides with no masks is the hard part. And so during these periods, you want to make sure that you like who you are with (aka yourself) because you will be tested in many ways during this period.
On top of that, we tend to put expectations that another should love us, when in fact we don’t love ourselves. Talk about something that will lead to disappointment. This is why I see so many women who lose themselves in relationships, because they think the other will make them happy, and feel a sense of nothingness if it ends.
Show others how to love you by loving yourself first.
Number Three: be very specific in who you ask the universe for when it comes to a partner.
Just as I made the mistake of asking for “only” a man who would treat me like a princess...well I got that, but I forgot to ask for the rest. Get clear on things you want, what you don’t, and what you’re willing to let go of. As much as I’d love to tell you Prince Charming is going to come and be perfect, that’s not how it goes because he will come with a catch, or two. Which is why you need to know the most important parts you want in a partner(ship).
The universe is always listening, whether you think it is or isn’t, so you might want to get clear on what you want. Because trust me, it will be delivered.
You know how I know these three are the most powerful pieces of advice you’ll hear?
Because I’m living, breathing proof of their impact, having met my Dream Partner (that yes, was written down on paper). AND, more importantly, every single client I’ve worked with has found their soul mate (and yes, is living pretty damn happily ever after), improved the current relationship they are in – rekindling the passion, or, has learned to leave a relationship they realized was not their true love.
There is a lot of freedom when it comes to knowing your own self-worth and having that mirrored back to you by a partner.
Which is why I want to share an exclusive invite for you to take part of my three-day Lasting Love Masterclass August 1 – 3rd. During the course of three powerful days, I’ll be expanding on these concepts to help you radiate confidence, learn to love yourself (even if you don’t like yourself very much), and the exact tools to manifest passionate love, unlike anything you’ve ever experienced.
I am so looking forward to getting to guide you through the incredibly life-changing tools I’ll be sharing during the Masterclass.
I’ve never taught anything like this before - and if you’ve taken my relationship program in the past, you know how much incredible content was there. This will be different in that we’re going deeper so you can experience the next level transformation within your love life!
Xoxo,
Nikki